Refugia
Coming to life in times of trouble
Refugia robustly supports you in the courage to experience what it is to be alive together in these times of trouble, through small, vibrant community and close 1-1 support.
When the ground feels unsteady
Refugia is for those feeling alarmed and unsteady with the language of polycrisis, the prospect of collapse and rising fascism. It is for those who sometimes feel frozen and at other times burnt out by the seeming speed and fragmentation of these times.
Refugia is for those feeling the relentless shockwaves amid either the silence or loud polarity of those close by. It is for those reaching for response, while needing to hold the relational threads of their own lives, feeling stretched between both. It is for those longing for rest and for ground, as well as for participation…and amongst it all, heeding the irresistible, irrepressible call to life.
“The darker the circumstance, the more brilliant the invitation.”
- JOANNA MACY
“Within each of us there is some piece of humanness that knows we are not being served by the machine which orchestrates crisis after crisis and is grinding all our futures into dust.”
- AUDRE LORDEWhat it is
Held over 6 months, Refugia is a therapeutic space of deep conversation, reflection and encounter, supporting you in growing awareness and resourcefulness in relation to our collective context.
We'll meet one another at the threshold of learning and unlearning, deepening into all we know and all that cannot yet be known. This is a space of depth and dimension, where personal and collective timelines convene - the wounds and wisdom of the past, the textures of the present, and the future reimagined.
How we work
Guided by conversational encounter, shared reading and therapeutic writing practices, we will navigate our individual and relational responses to the current realities and projected futures. During our time together we will consider, explore and contextualise these realities, all the while rooting ourselves in the safe enough experience of slow, curious and nourishing connection.
Refugia means ‘a small space of safety where life endures’. Indeed, life in this space can thrive among us, even when surrounded by adversity. The terrain we might explore is vast and terrific, and to some extent we will only come to know it by what emerges from our togetherness.
“We are intertwined with each other - and we are derived not from some distant source, but from each other.”
- Báyò Akómoláfé
Along the way
Fine writers and thinkers who will accompany us along the way include Donna Haraway, Báyò Akómoláfé, Audre Lorde, Rebecca Solnit and Francis Weller, to name just a few. I endeavour to keep the texts we read together short(ish) and freely accessible.
Some of the themes and ideas that may support us along the way:
~ imagination as resistance
~ narrative and throughtopia
~ decolonising ways of being
~ the concept of safe uncertainty
~ response-ability and nervous system awareness
~ relational friction and agility
~ grief, shame and shutdown
~ rest, joy, and aliveness
“We gather not to explain. We gather not to solve. We gather to notice what trembles just before language coheres, and to ask: what forms of aliveness are stirring outside the logics of healing, justice and progress?”
- Báyò AkómoláféLess ‘programme’, more practice
Another way of being in the world is possible, and of being ourselves in the world. We practice being real, as we are in the here and now, and we practice ways of being otherwise. There are few places in life where we can move slow enough with others in honest, connected awareness to know the interweave of our inner and outer worlds. In Refugia we practice deep listening and witnessing, we practice moving out what has been held in, we practice learning - from one another, from the great writers and thinkers that will guide us - and we practice compassionate unlearning. We practice being-with and becoming-with, together.
The overall experience within Refugia is unlike most of our day to day human exchanges. Something different can happen among us and within us because we take that time, bring conscious awareness and come to know a deep and interconnected relating.
We practice encounter
Being with what stirs between us and staying with how we feel about it unfurls further awareness and possibilities. Encounter is a meeting at the edges, stepping into the creative space of not knowing together and so allowing something new to emerge with empathy, courage and curiosity. What emerges guides us onwards.
We are with what feels alive in us, we are with life itself. We stay with feeling, and with response, long enough to know the magic of sharing it, and to be present to what happens next.
Dates & price
October-March | £1320 | 6 spaces
Gathering fortnightly from October through to March, there will also be an online community space offering ongoing connection and exchange, and where resources will be shared. Furthermore I offer a monthly 1-1 reflection and support session.
The group sessions will take place on either Monday or Tuesday mornings, to suit the preferences of the group that forms. Once we agree on a day, we’ll stick to that.
There are 6 spaces, and the next group begins early October.
Refugia is priced at £1320 - a monthly payment of £220. I have 2 spaces at a reduced rate of £110 monthly, which are available to people who would experience financial distress paying full price, and/or who are unable to work due to caring responsibilities, illness or disability. Alternative payment plans up to 12 months are possible for all participants.
If you’re feeling curious, or perhaps a little stirred, I'd love to hear from you - please contact me just below or you can email me directly at ruthcoatescounselling@gmail.com. We might arrange a call to explore the possibilities, or we can exchange a few messages or voicenotes.
“The mess out there is because of a mess in here.
Inner and outer talk to each other.
That’s the truth of things.
Let’s get to work.”
- MARTIN SHAW, SMOKEHOLE
Some questions you might have
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For anyone who is seeking good company in navigating a path onwards. There is no expected level of awareness or of feeling informed. There is only a sense of readiness which you might feel with shaky legs or steady heart, or both. We build trust in the shared ecology of wisdom and lived experience among us, and the uniqueness we each bring to that. Get in touch if you’d like some help exploring this.
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We meet online for 2 hours each fortnight, there is reading / listening time of around 1-2 hours each fortnight, with any time you spend in the community space too. Monthly we have our 60 minute 1-1 time.
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Each time we meet as a group there will be a reflective writing element, and usually this is around 15-20 minutes. Writing can help us arrive, understand, express and integrate, so it’s a valuable practice here. Your writing is private and sharing it is never an expectation and always your choice.
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Neither really, though it does have flavours of both. Refugia is a deeply therapeutic, soundly accompanying group experience. As a psychotherapist and group facilitator I steward a grounded and respectful group process. Ideas and discourse from great writers and thinkers are there to guide, challenge and inspire us. The rest we co-create.
Curious about Refugia?
“I feel gratitude to have felt held, respected, listened to, challenged safely, to have expanded knowledge, and looked up a dictionary again, and to have seen parts of the earth, views, experiences I hadn't yet seen, thanks to you all.”
- REFUGIA PARTICIPANT